2.28.2010

mingle

I look at people;
    wonder about their shoes
    judge them on their phones

I once stole a pack of gum
    my brother dared me to
    and I got smacked by the cashier

now I wonder what shoes the
    cashier was wearing or
    what phone she had

this is what a deaf person hears all year

silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence
  silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence
              silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
                                                          silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
                                                                         silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
              silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
                                                          silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
silence silence silence
                              silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence
                                                          silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence

2.27.2010

here it comes

We are here drunk
            in the USA
            like another lifetime ago,

spewing nonsense about
            weather – politics – and
            fashion – and – parenting

Women fight men on the
            lamp lit lanes
            of Murray Hill

I can’t see anything
            but pixilated dust
            just looming above me –

Women fight each other on the
            corner of Lex and 6th
            and it happens on TV

No one comes to stop them –
            we’re all watching
            on technicolor television

We are drunk, drunk as hell
            in the USA
            and no one cares about yesterday.

you’ve faded away with your fair share of abuse

Horns blare just beyond the HORIZON as
the buzzed kittens stir BENEATH
my kitchen table.

– never feed your kittens barbiturates
when you don’t want them
they’ll yowl and eat your carpet –

I experience heart failure at
the SUDDEN white noise
and is overcome by blackness.

The invisible birds come to
take me AWAY and all I
can think of is:

WHO will take care of my high kittens?

casket

tremors ran down the length of my back as I claw myself deranged – alone desperate suffocating surrounded in darkness I breakdown and choke on the tears from my eyes – rope around my arms I hope to move it around – clanging of metal reverberates around my head but yet – I am overcome with fear and questions why – why I am here and why my mother decided to bury me alive.

Allegro Movement in D Minor

It moves,
            a conductor
                        of symphonies

Seamlessly transitioning
            movements with
                        effortless precision

Condoning all laws of physics –
            beauty
                        full

the beatles had once ruled the world and named lennon as prophet

will I learn something
  so valuable that
  I manage to do the world some good?
  everyday people,
  everyday people - normal average joes and janes
  they don't - no
  they won't ever
  make an impact in this enormous world –
  this 252 million cubic kilograms of air-nitrogen-carbon dioxide or whatever

everyone believes
  that we are on this planet
  for a reason whether it may be
good
  or
    bad
  but
no,

we are all just pawns
on this earth until something - wait,
someone great
someone who encompasses
all knowledge and is
understanding of everyone's plight has come to be
life may not make much sense right now,
but wait
just wait, after all, life is a waiting game

you wait until you take your exams
you wait to meet your soulmate
you wait to die

it's the truth

truth is,
truth is,
truth is a,
truth is a long flowing river down the mississipi river valley going at 12.9 knots per nautical mile – no - truth is a luxury item - it's not a necessity - you can live without it, but you can also live with it - will the truth still change your perception of time? absolutely not - time is a constant - a constant bereavement of the ever changing world - the world that doesn't stand fucking still.

2.26.2010

bug

He fell –
            He fell into this
    dissociating myelitic pain,

couldn’t breathe couldn’t
move just cried all
day and night ‘till now –

He’s resolved: determined
interrogated himself –
are You ready?

His suffocating loneliness
  source of this myoclonic jump
at any social conventions

wreaking desperation –
  invasive social lesions
functions as a strong predictor of failure,

reminiscent of myasthenia
He can’t help but sit down
and hang his head in shame.

you’re the biggest loss to mankind (mass)”

DISEASED RANK SOCIETY
DISPENSING FALSE QUESTS
  deliver me from evil.

pause pause PAUSE:
  stop – go.
Menu >>>

OUR FANCY FANTASY
  contributing to this
DISCREDITED MYSTERY

shallow images in
  shallow moving waters
DON’T DROWN IN THE DEEP END.

life forebears departure
  and I CRY MERCY
to stop this misleading journey.

photographic deja vu

kipling was a fan
  not an avid fan
but a fan nonetheless

monochrome technicolor
  hand-painted Japanese
Adolfo Farsari

capturing moments
 eras ago
  such splendor

  sephia chronochrome
prints in studio back
  in 1880

vivid representations of
  color and culture;
bygone world

2.22.2010

quantative like

four scores and like, seven years
ago our fathers like brought forth
upon this like continent a new
nation conceived in Liberty and like
dedicated to the proposition that like
all men are created equal.

like are you listening to me?
            whatever

now we are engaged in like
a great Civil War like testing
whether that nation or like any
nation so like conceived or something
and like so dedicated can long
endure. We are like met here
on like a great battlefield of
like that war and some stuff.

Basically like we won the war
on slaves I think and like
these dead shall have life not
died in vain like that this
nation shall have like a new birth
of like freedom and this government
of like the people, by the
people, and like for the people
like shall not perish from the
earth or something cool you know?

it isn't anything at all

we lay in bed;
            waiting.

waiting for it – just waiting
            to come

and while waiting, we
            talked about places

places we’ll go and places
            we’ve gone

and the future and our
            dreams and wishes –

it slowly crept up, on
            me and you

it covered our body
            head to toe

rather, toe to head
            and it began

to create such a racket
            in my head

but at the same time I
felt so good so good
maybe too good like nothing
bad was every going to
happen, what I don’t know

I tried to stand up
but all I could do was
stumble and fall back to
where I once had lay

so I looked at my partner
and she was drooling and
in between orgasms and shock
or something spooky like that

colors converged on top of
me and I felt the weight
of each individual colors and
black was the heaviest of all

I tried and tried but I
couldn’t breathe for the life
of me black suffocated me
all I wanted was life

help help help me
please anyone oh god
is all I thought
but then my partner

rolled on my paralyzed arm
            and drooled on me

breaking me from my
            thoughts

her glazed over eyes looked over
            at me

and she came over to me to
            suck life out from my lips

and I saw my soul eject
before my eyes and circled
around the two of us and
it went back in me

thoughts raced in my head
is this how dying starts
how much could a woodchuck
fuck if it could fuck

was this a dream all
I wanted was an answer
to comfort me to dispel
these thoughts of death away

but this specter spooked me
that I gained mobility of
my arms and my legs
but the world crashed down

down down down on me
am I dead am I dying
is this what heaven feels
like or something totally different

I crawled over where the
sliding doors were and opened
them and crawled on to the
veranda set eight stories high

blast of wind hit my face
I am total derange now

speak in             rhythms            or                         rhyme
out            out on city floor

crying heard
back inside

muffled under
 angry                          angry               wind

blowing in                     ear           face         eyes
and I screamed  out  below

nothing could stop
                        me now.

this is what mitteleuropa caused

enchanting interludes pause
  before the verse –
  wait

systems and habits and maxims
  and opinions and prejudiced
  nations

all belt out a single uniting
  word that can be heard around
  the world

wait –
  enchanting interludes
  pause before the verse,

perceptions are least studied
  and applied it does not
  belong

here, like classes and methods
  and ethical cleansing
  but

wait –
  enchanting interludes pause
  before the verse

can you hear it? the call
  of the wicked
  it

calls for your mind, dispossesses
  our thought and our sense of
  “US”

“where do you belong”
  it asks snarling and about to
  lunge

it takes a strong hold
  admitted the principles without
  inquiry

obliged to accept in like
  a manner a great number of
  truths

but here you are
  exercising your
  mind

questioning its conditions
  and its ambitions and its
  collections

unable to collect
  unable to cohere unable to
  correspond

so free yourself
  free yourself from these
  chains

free yourself now go
  enchanting interludes
  played beyond the verse

2.16.2010

there's a rancid taste in my mouth

Men are bound no longer by ideas
but by interests.

So tell me –
            would you survive without

the internet? Or
            your blackberry?

What about money,
            after all it’s what makes

the world go around
            and around.

Are you interested?
            Are you ready?

2.15.2010

entrenched

in moments
of insipid awe,
we gather
  all
indispensable ideas and
thoughts -
read from mysterious
  tomes
from lands afar.

this fermentation of knowledge:
it is
  our
natural barrier
to heaven.

2.13.2010

davy crockett

did you guys hear?
  davy crockett coldcocked a bear!

the bear was being bullish towards his bear wife
  so crockett calmly stepped out

pointed to the bear and bellowed
  "bitch!"

you should've seen the surprised
  look on bear's face!

crockett threw a crooked punch
  hit bear square on the jowls

down bear went, bowling over boulder tables
  head first on to the floor

goddamn that crockett -rocket punch
  knocks bears down and panties too

fluffy duck butt

Mother, mother I was in
  a pit of despair! It
  was awful - so dark
  and depressing

I wanted nothing but
  out. I am here today
  thanks to my good
  friend, duck. Duck
 
please say hello to
  my mother, Siamese.
  Mother, this is Duck,
  Duck saved my life!

Duck told me stories
  about the misty lagoons
  of Yorkshire and the
  ancient turtles that inhabit

it. I was so entranced by
  his tales that I had to go
  see it! When I arrived in
  Yorkshire, I was immediately

mugged and I was shot
  twelve times in the same
  place and Duck had borrowed
  two hundred pounds from me

and I had no idea!

this is what she said (sort of)

I like that it's
    short

That's what makes it
    good

Maybe that's why we
    gel

Like peanut butter and
    jam

Or lemon rinds and
    shrimp

Or that stupid line from that stupid movie,
    Juno

"You are the cheese to my macaro -
    ni"

What a lame way to say you're
    cheap

flamboyant friskers

Right meow
  the sun set on the
  flaming cat

The world was quite
  alright with this
  image.

2.12.2010

Leipzig to Warsaw

We blaze
past old buildings –
an unforgettable
scar

of history. The sun
rises
in the East
and I wonder,

what is my name?
What is the name
that people call
old things

they have no need
for? Whatever it
is,
it used to bring

happiness
and joy –
but today,
shame.

jonathan connor's death note

While the world did nothing,
            I tried to survive.

Scraping a living by
            scraping gum off for a dime.

I tried to end it all –
            almost robbed a bank,

but I was afraid –
            for myself and of you.

What would you think of me,
            reduced to this crime

all I wanted from life
            was to be together – you and I.

But maybe you’ll see me
            on the local news,

and you’ll remember something
            that you never gave me:

a chance to be with you.

as i waved hello in the face of a dying bear (revision)

baby beatniks brush by burroughs
  king ken kesey kicks kaiser kerouac
  jolly ginsberg attempts necrophilia
    and monitors with monikers
      convey communist thought

baby baby red faced lacy lover,
  eclectic taste, promiscuous style
  moments of unholy union she deposits in the mind
but jolly ginsberg prefers to prod her
  and king ken kesey still kicks kerouac
  while beatniks beat burroughs
    64,928 times

dodos infest ginsberg's thoughts -
  compels him to write 'howl'
kerouac and burroughs make man-love
sharing the sun and the fun while
  ginsberg still writes 'howl'
  with dodos on his mind.

get high get high get high
get high geth igh geth igh
gethi gh gethi gh gethi gh
gethig h gethig h gethig h
gethigh gethigh gethigh gethigh
gethighgethighgethighgethigh
  jack writes 'on the road',
  bill composes 'naked lunch'
  even allen finishes ‘howl’
andtheyweresohappytheyfinished
butsoonlikeallgoodthingsonearth
they came down, came down...
  caaame down, caaaame down,
    dawdle.

oreo, the ordinary, ordinal bear

Hello,

I am a bear;
  I steal stuff from coolers

I like to walk naked
  through the woods
  and I totally enjoy it

Around noon everyday (unless the sky is crying)
  I sit in my river and
  watch the water wrigglers
  nip at my dirt caked feet

At night I climb up
  my fav-o-rite tree and
  wonder why I don’t have a thumb –
    if I did,
    I would play gameboy all day

Last year, around Christmastime
  I overheard a moose
    crying
  as it rubbed itself
  on my fav-o-rite tree –
  I was scared

I like to sit
  on picnic tables
  and wonder why
  moose cry during
  wet nights;
  I hope to console
  that crying moose one day

Sometimes I see bright
  colors in the distance
  in the open field by
  my latrine and I like
  to observe the colors as
  I do my business
  and I'm afraid that
  something may smell it.

When it rains, I
  lie down next to my
  fav-o-rite tree and
  pretend that I am a worm
  crawling through the
  mud. I try eating the
  dirt but it tastes like
  the droppings from the
  little spiny things.

Last night, I was awake
  watching the twinkles in the sky
  when I heard moose cry again -
  I was ready this time
  so I climbed down from
  my fav-o-rite tree and tried to
  put my arms around moose's neck...
  The last thing I saw was a leathery nostril
  glimmering in the soft light as
  moose headbutted me.

2.10.2010

wave of mutilation

He silently cracked
            open the porch door

And ushered me
            outside under the stars

Like how you
            crack open a window

To clear the
            air after you pass.

We held hands
            and felt the night

Air touch our
            open wounds from today.

The night was
            fooled by the stars

Spitting their light
            on our naked bodies.

there is no numerical connotation behind your train of thought

All day I think about Words.
  I eat bacons of Words
  and dive through black holes of Words.

One morning I ate a whole jar of habaneros
  and smeared wax on my eyelids
  and smoked a quarter of hash.

All night I think about Words.
  I’m lying on a bed of Words
  and count the Words in a dictionary.

One evening I drank a whole bottle of eggnog
  and walked for hours with my son
  in a white suit and a black tie.

All my life, I’ve thought about Words.
  Words of comfort, Words of wisdom, but most of all
  Words that will humiliate and cripple you. 

2.08.2010

when the whippoorwill cries at dawn

leaves pepper the ground and the lake
  the leaves are floating a little.

she had worked three jobs
  three dead-end jobs.

she spent her money on her baby
  and her deadbeat husband.

never spent anything for herself
  but she still worked three dead-end jobs.

her husband never touched her
  only took the money to the bar.

all the patrons took pity on her
  and her two year old baby.

they had moved from troy montana to cascade idaho
  in search of an honest life.

she lost her jobs one by one
  when she stopped coming to work.

‘where’s isabel?’
  ‘i’m sorry, who?’

he placed her in a lake
  where the maple trees grow five stories high

the leaves are floating a little
  she is floating a little.

hands&bones: I once had a lovely time

this was that time –
  the time we saw a movie.

we drove there at night
  almost 10 o’clock.

we sat in the back up against a wall
  we made faces at each other and held hands.

‘this movie sucks’
  ‘let’s stay a little longer’

we endured for another ten minutes
  but it was worth it being there together.

now as I watch you lowered into the ground
  I can’t help but wonder

If you’d be waking at 9am for work if we left then and there
  or if we’d be making faces and holding hands till the movie ended.

2.05.2010

aaaa

NYU
  female
    AUG30
      NEWYORK,NEWYORK

film-making
  photography
    dinosaaaaurs
      ogden nash

Film Productions

OXFORD_STYLES

For over 100 years
  I've loved mason jars
  and mountains of clotheslines.

I've brought you closer to
  the moonrivers while
  running through the forest.

Now, with over 700 jars
  collected over the period
  of my long life

I finally have
  a migraine -
  I'm out xoxo

Floo Powder

Your personal portal
  powdered purple
    or is it a person?

Don't be ridiculous!
  A person portal would
    teleport everywhere

only if they touch themselves...
  My personal portal?
    Pretty pink pony.

Resistance

It could be wrong
  for me to start breaking souls
    but unfortunately for you I've stopped.

A congealing of resistance
  a harrowing experience to escape
    protesters and commentators.

dutiful, bountiful nature

You're the king of nature,
  a ruler of the finite
    yet infinite.

I don't belong anywhere,
  but I am here with you
    unable to escape.

Like the plugs of a cord
  I am attached to you
    the ultra being.

jewish excursions

It's a strange courage
  she wrote
    to seek out one's heritage
amidst the ruins of Poland

leaves (quatrain form)

a
blanket
of
leaves

covered
my
body
and

I
could
sleep
at
last

you may think you know everything

here is a
neat trick:
ka-boom!