gros calin

i shit on my face today

thinking it was a good day to shit on things i like

it's january and there is no snow and i am shitting myself

and the rain collapses down on me but

i am shitting on the computer

i am shitting on the stove

i am shitting on the piano

i am shitting on the gerbils

shit grabs me by the throat

and suffocates my brain and i can't think of

the shit i want to shit on

and feel neglected and wronged

‡

make green tea

think green waves

and green cucumbers

the air is dry and green

mermaid tits aren't green

panda bears tell me

‡

palace of dosas

remind me of pizza pie sized pita breads

rolled up like a waffle cone

and served with a lot of colors

that remind me of hummus

but don't taste like hummus

don't feel like hummus

a panda bear asks on facebook

'hey minneapolis peeps, what is a good/creepy gay bar these days?'

i wonder if they eat dosas too

‡

that time a panda bear asked me for directions

i pointed him to the direction of the zoo

and he knew where i was pointing,

flipped me off and didn't thank me

i guess panda bears aren't as stupid as they look

‡

opium dens full of crack addicts

doesn't make sense like when

a panda bear asked me for directions

and i pointed him to the direction of the zoo

to which the panda bear thanked me and

sauntered off and i heard a loud scream

that vaguely sounded like 'fuck you'

‡

a sundry store opened next door over

owned by a nice couple i heard

they are panda bears

and eat bamboo shorts

in the spring and eat

silk stockings in the winter

i guess they don't eat dosas

‡

a complete wreck

garbage truck ate a cashew carrying

van

cashews are on the floor mixed

in garbage and i can see

an orange popsicle melting

on the pavement peppered with

cashews, i think

this must taste delicious

but a panda bear laps it up

and i feel cheated

‡

i ran into a panda bear at the park

he was very polite and

asked me if the zoo was hiring

and i told him i didn't go to the zoo

the panda bear looked shocked

i felt embarrassed

‡

a short man knocked on my door today

he asked me if i had seen

a panda bear running

running?

no

i told him i had not

‡

a panting panda bear lay in my

backyard murmuring

we fight for shorts but

we fight for shirts too

and i suppressed a giggle

because he was naked

‡

i had a open fire pot roast

that night

and another night too

‡

it's hard to explain

when there is

a dead panda bear

in your garage

only if you had given me a blowjob in the library

we sat in front of the television

our hands were together within a box of

gluten-free almond crunches

and our fingers grabbed another

you and i stared at each other

drinking in the steely blue flow of the tv

your eyes donned blue flickering black luminescent spots

we blinked in sync

as commercials bombarded us with life

changing mechanisms

we moved closer and i caressed your face

and i kissed you with

barbeque sauce breath

where you

licked my lips and called me

delicious

the remote hit the floor

turned

the tv off and

abrupt silence smoked signs

at our heads as the box

of gluten-free almond crunches

found the floor

setting free

gluten-free

almond crunches

and the floor tasted like barbeque sauce

when you were the witness to our lifetime

in my dream

you stood facing a pillar

of stone that men of

the past had gazed upon

before

time etched strips

in its grooves

thousands of times

in their empty eyes

you took a breath

of that air

sharp and longing

just as it once was

mist surrounded our

heads and brought us past

the end where we know

when it all

began

and

you stood in that spot

where men of

the past had stood

before

the soil breathing

life and

consuming our sleep

for days on

end