gros calin

i shit on my face today
thinking it was a good day to shit on things i like
it's january and there is no snow and i am shitting myself
and the rain collapses down on me but
i am shitting on the computer
i am shitting on the stove
i am shitting on the piano
i am shitting on the gerbils
shit grabs me by the throat
and suffocates my brain and i can't think of
the shit i want to shit on
and feel neglected and wronged

make green tea
think green waves
and green cucumbers
the air is dry and green
mermaid tits aren't green
panda bears tell me

palace of dosas
remind me of pizza pie sized pita breads
rolled up like a waffle cone
and served with a lot of colors
that remind me of hummus
but don't taste like hummus
don't feel like hummus
a panda bear asks on facebook
'hey minneapolis peeps, what is a good/creepy gay bar these days?'
i wonder if they eat dosas too

that time a panda bear asked me for directions
i pointed him to the direction of the zoo
and he knew where i was pointing,
flipped me off and didn't thank me
i guess panda bears aren't as stupid as they look

opium dens full of crack addicts
doesn't make sense like when
a panda bear asked me for directions
and i pointed him to the direction of the zoo
to which the panda bear thanked me and
sauntered off and i heard a loud scream
that vaguely sounded like 'fuck you'

a sundry store opened next door over
owned by a nice couple i heard
they are panda bears
and eat bamboo shorts
in the spring and eat
silk stockings in the winter
i guess they don't eat dosas

a complete wreck
garbage truck ate a cashew carrying

cashews are on the floor mixed
in garbage and i can see
an orange popsicle melting
on the pavement peppered with
cashews, i think
this must taste delicious
but a panda bear laps it up
and i feel cheated

i ran into a panda bear at the park
he was very polite and
asked me if the zoo was hiring
and i told him i didn't go to the zoo
the panda bear looked shocked
i felt embarrassed

a short man knocked on my door today
he asked me if i had seen
a panda bear running
i told him i had not

a panting panda bear lay in my
backyard murmuring
we fight for shorts but
we fight for shirts too
and i suppressed a giggle
because he was naked

i had a open fire pot roast
that night
and another night too

it's hard to explain
when there is
a dead panda bear
in your garage


only if you had given me a blowjob in the library

we sat in front of the television
our hands were together within a box of
gluten-free almond crunches
and our fingers grabbed another

you and i stared at each other
drinking in the steely blue flow of the tv
your eyes donned blue flickering black luminescent spots
we blinked in sync
as commercials bombarded us with life
changing mechanisms

we moved closer and i caressed your face
and i kissed you with
barbeque sauce breath
where you
licked my lips and called me

the remote hit the floor
the tv off and
abrupt silence smoked signs
at our heads as the box
of gluten-free almond crunches
found the floor
setting free
almond crunches

and the floor tasted like barbeque sauce


when you were the witness to our lifetime

in my dream
you stood facing a pillar
of stone that men of
the past had gazed upon

time etched strips
in its grooves
thousands of times
in their empty eyes

you took a breath
of that air
sharp and longing
just as it once was

mist surrounded our
heads and brought us past
the end where we know
when it all

you stood in that spot
where men of
the past had stood

the soil breathing
life and
consuming our sleep
for days on