we lay in
bed;
waiting.
waiting for
it – just waiting
to
come
and while
waiting, we
talked
about places
places we’ll
go and places
we’ve
gone
and the
future and our
dreams
and wishes –
it slowly
crept up, on
me
and you
it covered
our body
head
to toe
rather, toe
to head
and
it began
to create
such a racket
in
my head
but at the
same time I
felt so good
so good
maybe too
good like nothing
bad was
every going to
happen, what
I don’t know
I tried to
stand up
but all I
could do was
stumble and
fall back to
where I once
had lay
so I looked
at my partner
and she was
drooling and
in between
orgasms and shock
or something
spooky like that
colors
converged on top of
me and I
felt the weight
of each
individual colors and
black was
the heaviest of all
I tried and
tried but I
couldn’t
breathe for the life
of me black
suffocated me
all I wanted
was life
help help
help me
please
anyone oh god
is all I
thought
but then my
partner
rolled on my
paralyzed arm
and
drooled on me
breaking me
from my
thoughts
her glazed
over eyes looked over
at
me
and she came
over to me to
suck
life out from my lips
and I saw my
soul eject
before my
eyes and circled
around the
two of us and
it went back
in me
thoughts
raced in my head
is this how
dying starts
how much
could a woodchuck
fuck if it
could fuck
was this a
dream all
I wanted was
an answer
to comfort
me to dispel
these
thoughts of death away
but this
specter spooked me
that I
gained mobility of
my arms and
my legs
but the
world crashed down
down down
down on me
am I dead am
I dying
is this what
heaven feels
like or
something totally different
I crawled
over where the
sliding
doors were and opened
them and
crawled on to the
veranda set
eight stories high
blast of
wind hit my face
I am total
derange now
speak in rhythms
or rhyme
out
out on city floor
crying heard
back inside
muffled
under
angry angry wind
blowing in ear
face
eyes
and I
screamed out below
nothing could
stop
me
now.
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