it isn't anything at all

we lay in bed;

waiting for it – just waiting
            to come

and while waiting, we
            talked about places

places we’ll go and places
            we’ve gone

and the future and our
            dreams and wishes –

it slowly crept up, on
            me and you

it covered our body
            head to toe

rather, toe to head
            and it began

to create such a racket
            in my head

but at the same time I
felt so good so good
maybe too good like nothing
bad was every going to
happen, what I don’t know

I tried to stand up
but all I could do was
stumble and fall back to
where I once had lay

so I looked at my partner
and she was drooling and
in between orgasms and shock
or something spooky like that

colors converged on top of
me and I felt the weight
of each individual colors and
black was the heaviest of all

I tried and tried but I
couldn’t breathe for the life
of me black suffocated me
all I wanted was life

help help help me
please anyone oh god
is all I thought
but then my partner

rolled on my paralyzed arm
            and drooled on me

breaking me from my

her glazed over eyes looked over
            at me

and she came over to me to
            suck life out from my lips

and I saw my soul eject
before my eyes and circled
around the two of us and
it went back in me

thoughts raced in my head
is this how dying starts
how much could a woodchuck
fuck if it could fuck

was this a dream all
I wanted was an answer
to comfort me to dispel
these thoughts of death away

but this specter spooked me
that I gained mobility of
my arms and my legs
but the world crashed down

down down down on me
am I dead am I dying
is this what heaven feels
like or something totally different

I crawled over where the
sliding doors were and opened
them and crawled on to the
veranda set eight stories high

blast of wind hit my face
I am total derange now

speak in             rhythms            or                         rhyme
out            out on city floor

crying heard
back inside

muffled under
 angry                          angry               wind

blowing in                     ear           face         eyes
and I screamed  out  below

nothing could stop
                        me now.

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