4.27.2011

there is an unmarked grave behind the palisades mall

mother i am fine
i am the farthest thing from the truth

mother i am alright
there is nothing to be afraid of

mother i am okay
there was nothing to hold on to

mother i am dying
the only thing that kept me alive

mother i am dead
the dreams i dreamt were only dreams

i am drowning
in all of the bitterness

i am head down in the field
and i am dreaming

my eyes wide open
for the last time

4.20.2011

[ph]antom cosmo[nauts]>>fantom cosmo-nots


I.

[(m/[e)/at]]
[(t/[e/a)r]]
bot[(to)]m)]


II.

torre bert
november 1962
3 crew sky-high

alexey belokonev
another man
finalist woman

sheet metal cone
sun visor reflector
green blinking bulb

do this for mother
it is our god-given right
frantic message

  conditions growing worse
  why don't you answer
  we are going slower

  the world will never know [(a)[b/(o/ut)]] us


III.

I/am/lost/in/this/haze/of/dust/...
everything/is/satisfactory/...
we/are/orbiting/the/earth/...
I/am/lost/in/this/haze/of/light/...
a/break-up/a/fight/a/domestic/...
fire/lunik/reentry/failure/...
listen/listen/listen/listen/...
nothing/is/what/it/seems

IV.

heartbeats breathing from impending failure {gennady mikhailov}


V.

who is this
faint and dismissive

trans mission metal
bits and confused

air tight locks seal
her life shut

fright marches fear
dark and ghastly

twisted and torn
her voice pierces out

radial rhythms circadian
patterns but she is not there

nothing to see nothing
to find

all that's left –
her voice asking for help


VI.

she deleted me
brushed me away
I am nothing now
I will never be found
I live in darkness
forever

5 in 6
20 in 22
where have I gone
brushed me away
mother surely did

4.11.2011

dirt fingers cause infections (part 2/7)


2.
cold grey and wet

grit sweat and tears

mismatched brick

layers jun's body

jutting out in

the jetty