shame babies

i am sitting on a couch
  waiting for the sun to set
thinking about where i am going
thinking about where i will go
thinking about where i am
thinking about where and when i will start

i drink water from a /nestle/ bottle
  i don't think it's great as /poland springs/
i am tasting the water
tastes like water
tastes like spit
tastes like fluoride
tastes like life

i touch my face and i can feel a whitehead inside my right nostril
  it is painful
i want to get rid of it
i want to get rid of skin
i want to get rid of fat
i want to get rid of fate

the fan blows cool air on to my body
  its constant drone is reassuring
 i have not yet killed myself
  from the doldrums of life
not yet dead
not yet starving
not yet laughing
not yet living

still sitting on this musty couch
  taking in the brightness of the dark attic
  and i wonder what the future has in store
    for a boring asian man like me
will i go out tonight
will i drink beer tonight
will i have sex tonight
will i have sex tonight
will i have sex tonight
will i have sex tonight

will i meet someone tonight
will i meet someone again tomorrow
will i meet someone after tomorrow
  and start dating
  and get engaged
  and get married
  and get divorced